It's been a week. After that kiss in Sports class I ran away without saying anything. Mat and I still sat together in classes but whenever he tried to talk to me about what had happened I was ignoring him and as soon as breaks started I was out of the classroom.
I was scared about what he could say to me. I mean, I never liked Mat for being a player and trying to rip every girls' tongue off and then him talking about loving me would have freaked me out. But hey, he might have wanted to apologize. I didn't know but something deep inside of me was trying to keep him away from me.
Anyway, it was a sunny Friday and I loved sunny Fridays because on Fridays I have an easy school schedule and it's the last school day of the week. Being sunny just made Fridays even better. I really gotta stop saying Fridays right now, it's annoying you.
I called Nadie and we got a taxi to school as usual. Yeah, I forgot to tell you... since all that Mat drama I was getting a taxi every day to school because I knew he would be catching the bus. And Nadie and I shared the cost, plus I had someone I can talk to.
It seemed to be a typical day. My hair wasn't in place, I was wearing jeans and a T-shrit, and a little makeup, and my thoughts wouldn't let me be in peace.
If I tried to stop thinking about Mat, Justin started bothering me. I haven't been given any sign of him watching my video and I was really upset about that. It was scratching my mind, my heart, my mouth, my nose...everything.
"Hey, you don't seem ok lately and I'm worried. How can I help you to recover from the drama?", Nadie interrupted my thoughts.
"Oh, um...I don't know. It's just weird having Mat so concerned."
"Yeah, I guess. But you gotta stop thinking about that, you gotta talk to him."
"Whenever I stop thinking, Justin comes up. Plus you can't imagine what it's like when they both start to scartch my mind. It's like it's going to explode. And talk to Mat? I'm afraid."
I was blessed to have a friend such as Nadie. I could tell her everything in the way I saw it and she won't tell me I'm silly or anything. Well...not as that I'm really silly or stupid.
"Silly you! You shouldn't be afraid. He likes you and it's obvious. Why are you running away from the truth?"
"Ah, I wish I knew. I guess, it's just bothering me that he have always been a player, snogging around with every girl..."
"Yes, but everyone sees the change in him. Well, everyone but you. And you're....", she said but I finished the sentence.
"the one Mat wants to see it."
"Exactly, so give him a chance.", she had that sad look as if I didn't give him a chance he would die.
"I'll think about it.", I said and the rest of the ride there was silence.
The day moved on to be as usual as always. When I saw Mat coming in the classroom, I went out. And when the first period started he wrote me like tons of notes and I replied none of them. And as soon as the "end of period" bell rang I rushed out.
Second period, second break, third period and so on. It all went the same.
When the last, for the day, bell rang I got up but Mat cought my hand. I turned and looked at him. He had that tired and sad look on. After 2 or 3 seconds holing my hand and watching me in the eyes he broke the eye contact and let me go. I can bet he was thinking something like "Aaah, maybe I should give up. She'll never talk to me."
I got really upset about watching him sad like that. I didn't go home after school and went to my hiding place. I haven't been there for weeks and it was the only place where I could just think and relax.
I've spent an hour or more there when my phone rang. It was my Mom. I thought "Shit, I forgot to call her."
"Yup?", I said answering the phone.
"Where are you? Haven't you finished school already?", wow she sounded worried.
"I finished school. I'm just at Nadies', okay? I'll come home later."
"But you sound sad. Is something bothering you?"
"No, Mom. Everything's fine. Love ya, bye.", I said and hung up without even waiting for her to say bye.
I really was sad and nothing was fine but I didn't wanna bother her with my problems. I knew she had enough on her own.
"Oh, how I wish I had candy right now. It's the only thing that can help me.", I was thinking 5 minutes after talking to my mother. You know, candy had always been a friend of mine.
Just then I heard someone coming closer and closer. To be honest, I felt dead scared! But my head was burried in my knees and I didn't really care if I was going to die. But I guess I wasn't because someone sat next to me and hugged me. I wanted to ask "Who is this?" but I couldn't.
"We...we have to talk.", he said and I knew it was Mat.
As he said that I burst out crying and hugged him back so tight that I doubt he could breathe but he just hugged me tighter. I felt good and bad at the same time.
"Don't cry. Please don't, there's nothing worth crying about. Nothing that deserves the tears of a beautiful girl."
I wanted to say "But there's someone" but I couldn't. My heart was aching, my mind was about to explode, I couldn't breathe when Mat tried to make me face him without any success
"Listen. I have to apologize.", just them my heart sank. "I shouldn't have kissed you like that. I haven't thought that it would freak you out like this then and I should have. I'm sorry, it's just some feelings are stronger, I guess."
Now I was looking him in the eyes.
"I can't help myself. I don't know why and how but I've always liked you and you were always rejecting me, you never liked me. And when we.. when we kissed in front of Mandy. When you agreed on helping me get rid of her. When I was holding you in my hands I realised that's what I've always wanted. I realised I loved you...and I just couldn't help myself from kissing you again in Sports class. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have but it's stronger than me."
Wow. All that time he had had such feelings for me and I had been such a fool. I couldn't say anything.
"Are you gonna just look me in the eyes? It's scratching me on the inside. I need to know if there's a chance...for us. You gotta tell me."
"Scartching me on the inside", I thought. "That's exactly what I use to describe my emotions. And yes, there's a chance..the biggest chance you could imagine."
But instead of saying this out loud I just smiled at him and I could see his face lightening up with a smile wider than mine.
"Or we just can do this", he said, leaned in and kissed me.
iPod Touch
Guitar
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Chapter 6: Can't hide from him @ 3:10 PM 
